Friday, July 17, 2009


The manner in which you interacted with the kings of Judah and Israel, is much different than the way you seem to work with your people today. In fact, I am often inclined to think that the ancient narrative in Hebrew history is more from the perspective of the Hebrews themselves, than from you. I am not saying I am right in this understanding, just saying that my experience with you, and the teachings of Jesus and the gospels, seem so radically different that I sometimes wonder if it was you at all back then. After reading of the way you interacted with the Hebrews, I wonder how a God like that could love and accept someone like me.

But Jesus paid it all. All to him I owe.

In these years of study and consideration, have I come to know you more deeply? And by doing this, have I answered, at least partially, my own prayer? How am I to understand that Jesus went through this torturous death for me on a personal level? How am I to see that he did it, or would have done it, just for me?

I feel very inadequate in my knowledge of you, dear Father, or you, dear Jesus, or you dear Spirit of God. It was Jesus who taught us that there is a Father, Son and Holy Spirit. One needs to understand Jesus before one can really discover the Trinity in the Old Testament. Without Jesus, my knowledge of you probably would not exist at all.

Does it matter that Jesus called you, “Father?” Does it matter that he never called you, “Mother?” He said that God is a Spirit, and they who worship him must worship him in Spirit and Truth. But in Jesus' teachings, God is always a paternal Spirit, never a maternal Spirit. Does it matter? At the moment in my enlightenment, I can't see that God's “gender” has any relevance at all. Was Jesus merely accommodating the paternalistic culture of his society? Perhaps someday, I shall know more than I do now, but for the moment, I can't see how it matters at all.

What really matters is that I am loved by God, by the Father, by the Son and by the Holy Spirit.

Whatever happened to that black lady, Lord, who asked why I referred to you as a Father and not a Mother? I pray for her today. I pray that you would bless her and bring her to yourself. Fill her with your love and acceptance and may she walk in the light of your Spirit and Truth.

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